I am not who i appear
by wild-in-spirit
Summary: one book that leads to the so many answers. maybe the person who wrote it can help save the magical world and defeat voldermort or maybe she will just endanger them all.


I am not who I appear

_I am not who I appear. You can see me as a person without a god to ask for help, you can see me as the invisible being that only appears when most needed or you could see me as the strong, outspoken individual who will stand by her own believes', her friends and her family through anything and everything. Or, you could take the choice of many, and ignore me completely._

'What's that you've got there Harry?'

The boy looked up from the book he had found while cleaning to see the face of his old professor, his friend and over everything else, a part of his family.

'It's an old book that I found while cleaning, but it seems more like a diary. Have you seen this before?'

He held up the book and saw a look of recognition pass over Remus' face.

'That books not that old Harry, in fact the person who wrote it is only about 21 years old.'

'Really? It seems to be written by someone older.'

'She did have wisdom beyond her years.'

Suddenly, a noise erupted from downstairs. The only way to describe it was screeching, the screeching of Mrs Blacks portrait.

'SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!'

That made both men in the room run towards the landing where they saw a young woman pointing her wand at the portrait. The part that shocked them was that the portrait had listened and was talking in a civil tone to the new comer.

'Oh, my sweet girl, you've returned home. A decent pure blood has arrived. Now all those nasty mud-bloods, half-breeds and blood traitors will leave my home.'

'Wrong, I just came to pick some things up then I'm gone. And don't insult people, I'm a daughter of one of your so called blood traitor and my god father is one of those half breeds and I'm damn proud of them all.'

That's when the screeching started again but Remus had managed to put the cover over it before it got to bad.

'Alright Remus.'

'You little sod, we thought you were dead.'

'You ain't that lucky. When did this place start getting used for the Order, I thought Sirius would rather die than come back here.'

'Yeah, well, he had to get used to the idea. Albus was the one who thought of it.'

'Why does that not surprise me?'

More people had entered the hall and had watched the exchange between the girl and Remus.

'Who are you?'

'I'm insulted Alastor, you don't even recognise the girl you taught to apperate and duel properly. That hurts mate.'

'Little loopy Leila. Damn, you've grown up.'

'I'm still the Loopy Leila; I'm just not little no more. I am 21 Moody. Well, it was nice to reminisce, but I gotta get goin, travel can't wait forever. Now, has anyone seen my book, I've got so much to add to it from the last few years.'

Harry slowly raised his hand which was the one holding the book.

'Oh, someone has been reading my masterpiece. Did you enjoy the beginning Mr Potter?'

'Yes actually, it seemed to be written by someone…'

'…More mature? More aged? I've heard it all before Mr Potter. I do need my book back though; I have much to add to it.'

He walked down the stairs and handed the book over to the woman in front of him. He was in aw. She had a smile that could light up a room and looks that could rival the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

'Thanks, now, if you will all excuse me, I have some travelling and hunting to do. Good day.'

At this, as quick as she arrived, she had left like it had never happened, like she had never entered their lives. There was no sign of her till a few years later, at the funeral of Albus Dumbledore.

_I am not who I appear. You might see a strong woman that fights for a cause, but I do weep. I wept many times after the death of Sirius Black and even more so when Albus Dumbledore was murdered. No one had seen me cry since my parents' death, not even my own brothers, but they have also left me, and I could not even bring myself to weep for them. I am not who I appear, and all the proof is in this book. All the proof was that day, when I was asked to stand and give a speech at Albus' funeral. I have never cried so much in my life._

I stood in front of everyone who had gathered to say their goodbye, and it was my turn to say mine in front of everyone.

'Today we gather here to say goodbye to one of the greatest wizards of our time, maybe even all time. He was a friend, a teacher, a leader and for me, he was the family I never had. He rarely failed to solve a problem when we asked for assistance and could always make us smile on the cloudiest day. He will be missed dearly by those who knew him and even those who had only heard his name. A name that brought hope to the hearts of all those in the wizarding world and a name that will live on through history because of all the strength and determination he had, even when others dragged his name through the mud.'

At this I threw a dirty look at the minister of magic and the others that had supported the destruction of Albus Dumbledores reputation just so they could keep their jobs and the support of the magical community.

_I am not who I appear. I speak of hope and love but I feel neither. Ever since the deaths of Sirius and Albus I became nothing but a zombie walking around repeating the same things every day. I rarely spoke and became a destructive being that could be dangerous to anyone near me. I became reclusive and avoided those that cared, but I no longer did. I knew they worried, and I knew they cared but I worried about them as well. I was too powerful, but not strong enough to control that power and without Albus to complete my training I could destroy them. If you are reading this now, it is my last entry and I will be gone. I have to leave the world behind because if they find me they will use me against the side I believe in. I am not who I appear; I am a sorceress, an elemental and I have the blood of a goddess running through my veins. I see myself as a cause of destruction and death, yet many called me hope. But I could not put you in that danger, my dear reader, for I still think I will be used for they know my weakness, they own my weakness, they own Severus Snape. The man that showed me there was more to life than the death of those around you, and although I don't think I can forgive him for taking away a part of my family, he will always hold my heart. As I have already stated, this will be my last entry in this book and when you finally read it I will be gone. Please do not hold any of my truth against the memory of those around me for they do not even know much of this information. They did not know how I felt about Severus Snape, they did not know what I truly was and they did not know I hated who and what I was. So, my dear reader, if I have not met you before, I wish you luck in your life, goodbye._

'Remus, is that Leila's book?'

Remus slowly nodded but could not yet speak because of the truth he had just read about the woman he had been god father to.

'Does it say where she's gone?'

He shook his head and handed the book over the Arthur, who had just waked in. After a few minutes, Arthur understood the expression on Remus' face.

'She's really gone?'

'Yes Arthur, I think she is. But I'm sure she'll return again one day once she has sorted her mind out. There is more on the next page, not much but it explains were she disappeared to after that day at Number 12.'

Arthur slowly turned the page and almost dropped the book on the floor.

_The truth behind Leila Canis Kilgour Lupus, other wise known as Leila Canis Kilgour__ Lupus- Snape, married to Severus Tobias Snape and the daughter of Artio, Celtic Goddess of the wild, and Marcus Major Lupus._

'She'll return Arthur, but only when she is ready to do so. She will fight for us in the final battle, I'm sure of it.'

'How are you so sure?'

Remus slowly stood and walked over to the window and stared out into the clearing of the grounds but he did not answer.

'Remus, how are you so sure?'

Only one sentence passed through his lips and he said it with a smile.

'The winds are changing Arthur, it's started.'


End file.
